Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Returning To Normality?

Since having children that go to school I have found September to be a mixed month, often the weather remains nice and I do love Autumn and the colours that the season brings. But I struggle with the kids going back to school and the whole routine that it brings upon the family as a whole and I struggle with what so many parents seem to class as 'normality' the amount of times I have heard parents in the playground discussing how pleased they are to 'Be back to normal - now that the kids are back at school!" amazes me!

This September has been a big one for our family as my oldest has entered key stage 2 of school and thankfully has taken to his more independent role well, and my youngest son, our middle child has started reception class in the same school. This time round we are lucky that he has shown signs of being ready for school, and actually started school just days before turning five. So I feel like I should be writing a post about his birthday, a glowing post telling you how much I love this little man, but unfortunately the last few weeks haven't been the perfect start to a school life and I have spent so much time lately in tears, with a stomach full of frustration, anger and hurt, and that's just me.

Yesterday finally I had phone call from the head teacher to say that the school's procedure they follow when tackling bullying has been put in place and that the matter will be dealt with as quickly as they can, and apologises have been made to my son and to us as a family, so now we wait and see.
As I dropped my son off in his classroom yesterday morning, the three boys in question, four year olds, started talking about hair cuts, you see this 'problem' is all because my son has shoulder length hair. They continued in front of my son and I to discuss whether they had been to the hairdressers over the weekend with one of the boys saying that "I haven't been to the hairdressers this weekend but I am going next weekend as I don't want yellow long hair" the other boys response to this was to agree "Yes you don't want long hair as you will look like him (glances at my son) and you'll look like a girl". I stood and listened and the emotions that went through me, everything from wanting to get hold of these boys to yelling, and screaming at them and the assistant in there who was blissfully unaware of the conversation, I wanted to pick my son up and to run as far away from the school as I could physically get, I felt confused, betrayed  and helpless, and I settled my son playing with another child and I walked out of there with the three boys laughing at me, yes they are only four, and I cried all the way home. And I felt horrible, I felt guilty for leaving my son in that environment and I felt guilty for putting him through it and for not being able to defend him.
 So I wrote, I wrote a very angry, a very heart felt email to the teacher, explaining that even though we had already had many conversations about these boys and there behaviour, what I had seen first hand that morning had shocked and appalled me and that I wasn't no longer going to sit back and put up with it and hope that they got bored and they taunting and teasing of my child would stop. And that yes these children are only four but they are behaving as bullies and they should be dealt with. And hopefully fingers crossed, touches wood, this is now the case.

No child however young should be put in a position like this, no child should have to question why there hair is a little different or worry about which toy they pick up to play with, or where they choose to play in the playground, or sit in the class room. No child should cry themselves to sleep, so worried to go to sleep because the nightmares will begin, no child should want to change themselves so that they can fit in to what a bully believes they should be like. My son is beautiful, he is determined to succeed in what he does, he loves to understand how things work, and questions everything! He loves to laugh and tell jokes, he has a very matter of fact way of looking at things, so much so that it can shock us at times, he likes to have a kiss on his lips at night, and he must say to you before you leave the room, "Goodnight, sleep tight I love you" and best of all he gives the most amazing hugs, that make you feel that everything is all right.